Today Tomasz is discussing the cost of being sat focused on a job for so long everything else is forgotten. Meals, breaks, drinks, meetings, calls, texts, and people. All invisible to us once we hit the “zone”.
Tag Archives: autism
Neurodivergent TV
Have you been told that there’s a lot more autism now than ever before? Not true, we’re better at diagnosing people, and we are seeing themselves reflected in the media and are asking questions. They’re finally walking down the path to better understanding.
To be clear, these are TV shows and movies with neurodivergent characters or themes, even if not explicitly mentioned in the plot or the character. Some like House M.D. are subjective, I see Greg House as someone with high functioning Asperger’s syndrome. The Pitt features a doctor who is autistic and has a sister who is also on the spectrum. So while the show or movie isn’t about ASD specifically or a person on the spectrum, it will feature characters who are.
Thank you to Han Without Genes for a lot of input and an incredible website full of relevant information.
Anne of Green Gables
0088727
As We See It
12530128
Astrid – See Patience for the British version
6354632
Atypical
6315640
The Big Bang Theory
The Big Bang Theory
Boston Legal
0402711
The Bridge – For the British version, see The Tunnel
1733785
Dinosaur
31064044
Everything’s Gonna Be OKAY
8680006
Extraordinary Attorney Woo
20869502
Fisk
13353168
The Good Doctor
6470478
House M.D.
0412142
The IT Crowd
0487831
Lessons in Chemistry
13911628
Light of my Lion
33710504
Marsman
3396596
Modus
4600404
The Mothers of Penguins
32245065
Move To Heaven
11052470
Murderbot
30444310
Not Dead Yet
18250904
Patience – see Astrid for the Dutch version
31495377
The Pitt
31938062
ReGenesis
ReGenesis
Scorpion
3514324
The Tunnel – For the Swedish/Danish version see The Bridge
2711738
Autism Inner Monologue
Most of us have this little voice inside our heads, giving advice, looking for answers to questions, but overall generally helping out, sometimes it’s really valuable advice and even intuitive.
Not with Autism, this little bugger never ever shuts up.
These videos will also explain the constant stream of thoughts that this voice is giving, some of it good, some great, some really bad. Sometimes it’s like Wormtongue.
Conversation Tree
I guess not technically related to autism, but the size of the tree for us is huge. So you have a conversation with an autistic person, often our replies are considered and deliberate, and sometimes we may take time to answer, I know I’ve been called retarded enough to know, I’m not retarded, obviously, but I do often take my time, as do we all.
We will usually have 20-30 branches off the main conversation, branches and twigs, all considered, all of them tested first before we respond. As you can imagine this takes time. Then we respond.
In tense situations, as conversing with a crush (see Limerance) things can get incredibly fraught, this tree can then extend almost to infinity as we scramble for a good answer. I’ve done this so many times and we ended up looking like a complete idiot. I usually end up just grabbing any answer that sounds remotely interesting or funny, with many tangents to choose from, going deeper and deeper, I end up with an answer that is completely obscure to the listener, but not to me.
I’ve also noticed in the past that I steered conversations away from the topic to a topic that I would like to discuss, after enough failures I learned not to do this, so as a result I don’t do this any more.
Limerence 💔
Thanks to the way we focus, we tend to lean into Limerence. While there is no specific ratio of Limerence to Autism, we do have more instances than neuro-typicals.
So what is it, what does it feel like? Bear with me, I can only speak from the side of Limerence.
Technically, Limerence is an uncontrollable infatuation with deeply pervasive thoughts and irrational behaviour towards your crush. As I’ve said it several times before, think teenage crush and multiply it by 100. Even if the other person doesn’t feel the same about you, you still want to relentlessly pursue them and have them in your life. Even with their obvious faults, you will rationalise them into perfect counterpoints to your personality. Anything and everything they do and say will make you feel like they are the right person. They may be, but are you?
While the climb-down from this crush can be soul-destroying, it usually doesn’t take long, it all depends on how static they are in your life, and it can be mitigated by another LO (Limerent Object). If you for example, work with that person, and you both stay employed at the same place, it can take a long time to reduce, but if they or you leave it can fall off quite quickly. It can also come on incredibly quickly, a quick nonchalant 5 minute conversation with a total stranger can trigger it, completely out of the blue. Cupids arrow hit hard and hit true. I have to admit, Cupid is a demon with that bow.
Couple our desire for a relationship as a normal human being, with the loneliness of autism, our ability to focus and finally add in Limerence, and yes, you have a very intoxicating cocktail.
Limerence is not simply a crush, it is not simply deep love, though we do love and very deeply, it’s also not lust.
It can also be very disruptive, though rarely dangerous, it can lead to thoughts of inadequacy and depression. The work-life balance can also be disrupted leading to issues at work and at home. It can and does make you feel great, but it also holds a dark mirror up to you, showing you your own faults, which can be a very positive catalyst for change, but don’t assume those faults are all bad and must be destroyed, for us on the spectrum… it’s who we are. We cannot change that, that way lies madness.
Finding that balance when you’re deeply irrational is nigh on impossible. I personally have done it a couple of times, but it takes great resilience and you will end up feeling burnt out. Now, I just avoid the feelings once they start. It’s not the best technique, but it’s the only strategy I have.
Autistic Burnout
Autistic burnout is a prolonged period of feeling exhausted both physically and emotionally. During this time, a sufferer will also face increased stress, anxiety and further meltdowns or implosions making them feel worse, thus adding to the feeling of burnout.
I am currently in my 7th year of burnout and I can tell you it’s hell. I am so damn tired all the time, I am also depressed and surrounded by a fog that stops my once powerful intellect from assessing and comprehending basic things. Another symptom of prolonged burnout is joint and muscle aches and pain.
Adding further misery is the reduced tolerance to external stimulus. So all the things you could just about cope with normally are just infuriating now.
My burnout stems from the death of both my parents. The absolute centre of my universe. Along with a life spent trying to fit in and mask heavily, never understanding myself, never knowing what I’m doing wrong, why I can’t fit in, pushing myself harder to make a life for myself, failing at everything and again, not understanding why. If everyone else can do it, why can’t I?
Now you understand why autistic burnout happens. Especially for me. There’s also an absolutely fascinating explainer for Professor Tony Attwood, he goes on to reason why people like me, diagnosed at 54 really need a diagnosis.
This is my reason for burnout.
The overall typical reasons include, masking, increased stressors, changes within school, or work, transitioning to a new school, infants to juniors to high school, onto college or university are good examples, unreasonable expectations from oneself, society, friends and family. All these things bring an enormous amount of stress and anxiety, and push us to a point beyond what we can reasonably tolerate. Our bodies and minds shutdown to a barely functioning level and stay there until we get relief.
Further reading: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-burnout
Autism Implosion
Autism implosion,” or a silent meltdown, is an internal, non-verbal reaction to being overwhelmed, where an autistic person withdraws and disconnects rather than engaging in external outbursts. It is a survival mechanism where the brain shuts down due to sensory, emotional, or information overload, making it difficult or impossible to communicate needs. like external meltdowns, implosions are not a choice, they often prevent the individual from receiving help, and can cause internal damage because the intense energy and distress have no outward release, it’s all turned inward and against the individual.
Quantum Pseudo-Telepathy
I’m autistic, got it, we know that. One of the strange things we do as autistic’s is talk without issue. When we converse with neurotypical people though, we really struggle to notice cue’s. When to start speaking, when to stop pausing and restarting, even staying on topic or going down a tangent. It’s all completely confusing to us. We can do it sometimes, but it bloody hard work. But neurotypicals can do this without issue (mostly).
Yet when we are a group of autistics, we can talk, divert, interject, be animated, be quiet, ask questions and change subject. All without problems. We understand the social rules and respect them.
Maybe just maybe we can do this as a group of autistic people because we have a Quantum Pseudo Telepathy, but that is on a different frequency from neurotypicals.
The theory of Quantum Pseudo-Telepathy is two people working in perfect harmony for one outcome. The experiment is simple: Put two people in two different rooms, separate and soundproofed from one another. Ask them the same questions (yes or no answers only) and they will answer the same more than is mathematically possible.
So run the test again, two neurotypicals, and two autistics and see the results. Do they correlate, is one group more accurate than the other, can they be mixed and still produce accurate results?
If mixing NT’s with autistics produces a marked decrease in correct answers, then yes we are working on incompatible frequencies. But if that’s the result, then does that mean we are controlled by a higher power? Would that higher power be a computer in charge of this simulation? Does that mean that autistics are derogatory or laudatory. Is anything real? Are we really just in a simulation? Does that mean God doesn’t exist?
Or have I completely misunderstood Quantum Pseudo-Telepathy?
The video:
The Autism Dictionary
An Autism Dictionary for everyone.
A quick word on language, do not refer to autistic people as “having autism” like it’s disease. Please refer to people on the spectrum as being autistic.
I am autistic, I do not have autism.
If I’d had a list like this before my assessment, then I would have better understood myself and been more at ease after receiving the phone call and subsequent letter. That is my aim, to make self-diagnosis and the pre-and-post assessment process of learning who you are as easy and informative as possible.
It was cathartic creating this, I hope it helps you understand yourself or the autistic person in your life.
If you spot any errors or omissions please report them to dj.dazbo @ gmail.com or on reddit I could really do with your help, thank you.
This will no doubt be a continuous work in progress.
Co-occurring morbidity. Don’t go to the worst place possible, it just means that conditions like Autism and ADHD also come with other conditions like OCD, Elhers-Danlos syndrome, acid reflux, irritable bowel syndrome, depression, sleep disorders, bipolar disorder and sadly many many more.